I’ll be trying to post as many of these opportunities and actions as possible, so please let me know in a comment or by email if you know of a lobby day/outreach effort.

No political party has a record good enough on LGBT civil rights that it can rightfully claim to be entitled to our money on a party-wide basis.  No longer will we let any political party take our money and volunteers with one hand, and slap us in the face with the other when we seek full equality.

I say good for Garden State Equality.  We need to support our allies, not the party of which they are members.  I don’t fault the Democratic part for working to elect moderate “blue dog” Democrats.  They are more electable in certain areas and can help to pass a lot of really good, important legislation.  However, they  generally (and sadly) can’t be relied on to vote for many important issues that are deemed as unpalatable to the more socially conservative.  Blue dogs are admittedly important to me on a lot of issues (though haven’t really come through on health reform), but frankly we all only have so much to give, and giving to candidates who support our issues both sends a strong signal and rewards (for lack of a better, less cynical word) the members who are outspoken for our issues–LGBT or any other progressive cause.

The 2006 court decision, which led to the civil union law, punted on the question of marriage and said it was for the Legislature to decide.

Well, the Democratic process has, for all intents and purposes, run its course. That makes the tally sheet of Thursday’s vote an important document: It puts a final stamp on a legislative process that failed to comply with the court order. Gay marriage advocates believe the court will be more likely to answer the question of “marriage” instead of deferring to the Legislature.

“Along the way, a lot of folks asked, well if there is a shot that you might lose, why would you call for a vote today?” said Steven Goldstein, director of Garden State Equality, the chief group lobbying for the bill. “The answer is, there is conclusive proof that the legislative process has been exhausted. And the Legislature failed its state constitutional duty to provide equal protection under the law.”

And the coward of the day:

It’s also clear that the next Democratic Senate president, Stephen Sweeney, wants nothing to do with it. Sweeney, soon to be the second most powerful person in Trenton, abstained on the grounds that the measure was doomed for defeat. Instead of declaring where he stood on a gut-check, civil rights issue, Sweeney made a strategic decision to play it safe.

“They [same sex marriage advocates] made a very strong case, and I would have been very happy to pass it,” Sweeney said. “It wasn’t close, unfortunately.”

Worth a read of the full piece.

Garden State Equality and Lamda Legal will be returning to the courts to pursue equality.  The NJ Supreme Court ruled that same sex couples must be treated equally, but left it to the legislature to make that happen.  They’ve failed, and now it’s back to the courts since a new governor who is opposed to marriage equality will be sworn in shortly.

Here’s the remarks of Garden State Equality Chair Steven Goldstein:

With today’s vote in the state Senate, the New Jersey legislature defaulted on its constitutional obligation to provide same-sex couples in New Jersey equal protection, as unanimously mandated by the New Jersey Supreme Court in 2006.  That’s why we at Garden State Equality are here with our partner Lambda Legal, which has an extraordinary track record of advancing LGBT civil rights in the courts.

Now our organizations will announce major news.  Our side is going back to court to win marriage equality.

We’ll hear from Lambda Legal in a moment.   Let’s be clear about what this news means.  We are not waiting out the term of any new Administration to bring equality to same-sex couples in our state.

In 2006, the New Jersey Supreme Court told the legislature it could enact marriage or another structure that provides the equal protection of marriage.  But the civil union law failed to do that.   Too often, civil union couples too often cannot visit loved ones in hospitals, make medical decisions for their partners or receive equal health benefits from employers.   Hospitals and employers have treated civil union couples differently because they’ve been labeled differently.   Children have been treated differently at school because their families are labeled differently.

In recent months, including today and at the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing in December, New Jersey legislators publicly recognized these failures.  They publicly acknowledged that the civil union law has not provided equal protection.  That’s important.  New Jersey legislators themselves said it.  Our opponents in the legislature said it.

In other words, though we didn’t achieve our final victory today, we’re better positioned than we were a few months ago to win marriage equality.  So if you’re wondering how we feel, it’s complicated.   On the one hand, we resent, more than you can imagine, remaining second-class citizens a bit longer.  On the other hand, the ball has moved forward.  The public record for the courts is mighty, and we’re closer than ever to winning.

In 2006, New Jersey enacted an experiment called civil union.  In 2010, New Jersey has a mountain of proof that the experiment has failed.

Now let’s talk about what happened politically.

Things didn’t go our way in the legislature because of one factor:  Governor Corzine lost reelection.

After his win in November, Governor-elect Christie persuaded a number of legislators to reverse their support of the bill.   Before the election, nearly every neutral observer in New Jersey thought marriage equality was certain to become law in lame duck.  It became the zeitgeist in Trenton, with good reason.  In contrast to today’s outcome, before the election we had votes to spare in the Senate, including from a number of Republicans.

But the election changed everything and our national opponents changed nothing.  They didn’t do much or spend much in New Jersey.   As you saw from our thousands of members at the State House these past few weeks who symbolized the massiveness of our campaign, we overwhelmed our opponents on every front – but one.   Our opponents had the Governor-elect on their side, and that’s all they needed to have.   It’s ironic given that marriage equality wasn’t even an issue in the election, and that the candidates who favored marriage equality together won a majority.

All this said, we extend to Governor-elect Christie an outstretched hand.   He will be the Governor of all of us.   We ask him to continue the tradition of his Republican predecessors, Christie Whitman and Tom Kean, who always kept an open door to the LGBT community.   And though we differ with the Governor-elect on marriage equality, we also seek to explore with him and his Administration the issues on which we may have agreement and can work together.

No political party should write off any constituency.  And no party should take any constituency for granted either.   Our fundamental right to equality should never have been left to sudden death overtime by the party to which the LGBT community and our allies have been unstintingly loyal and have given so much.

To be clear, we will continue to support those who support us.   Over the past five-and-a-half years, the separate Garden State Equality political committee has provided thousands of campaign volunteers and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for supportive candidates through contributions to the organization, or through contributions from individuals directly to candidates.

Of course, when we exceed politicians’ expectations in ways they like, we never hear, you’re going too far, your fervor is too much.  That double standard, which other minority communities have heard in their own fights for equality, hurts deeply.   And it hurts everyone who stands for equality, including supporters in the majority.

Now there will be a sustained response not only from the LGBT community, but also from straight progressive voters who have been our equal partners.  Marriage equality stopped being just a gay issue long ago.

To those who let us all down, here’s our policy:  Don’t ask, don’t expect.   You can’t take progressives’ money and volunteers with one hand, slap us in the face with the other, and then act astonished when we declare our independence.   The marketplace of democracy runs along a two-way street.

Members and friends, today was not an outcome lost, but rather a juncture in an otherwise glorious road to justice.   Since Garden State Equality’s founding in 2004, New Jersey has enacted 210 LGBT civil rights laws at the state, county and local levels, a national record.  We have 64,000 members – LGBT and straight alike – who have improved the lives of millions.   A watchdog organization, eQualityGiving.com, just ranked New Jersey #1 in America for LGBT rights, tied with three other states, and we haven’t even won marriage equality yet.

But we will soon.  Cesar Chavez said it best.  You cannot uneducate the person who has learned to read.  You cannot humiliate the people who feel pride.  You cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore.  We have seen the future, and the future is ours.

Before I introduce our colleagues from Lambda Legal, some thanks are in order.  Thank you to all our Senate sponsors, including prime sponsors Loretta Weinberg and Raymond Lesniak.  We appreciate Loretta and Raymond beyond measure for their indefatigable leadership, and extend to them our love.   We thank Senators Bill Baroni and Nia Gill – unwavering voices for justice at our committee hearing.   We thank all our Assembly sponsors, including prime sponsors Reed Gusciora, Valerie Vainieri Huttle, John McKeon and Mila Jasey.   We thank our Governor Corzine and Speaker Roberts for their support.  And let me say this about Governor Dick Codey:  He’s been an extraordinary champion of equality who kept his word about a Senate vote.  Every progressive in New Jersey should view Governor Codey as a hero.

We thank the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Human Rights Campaign, Gill Action, the Civil Marriage Collaborative, the Arcus Foundation and Freedom to Marry, which have given us resources and wisdom.  We thank our partners at the state level, including the ACLU of New Jersey, BlueWave, Democracy for America, New Jersey Citizen Action, New Jersey Stonewall Democrats and the state’s progressive voice on the web, Blue Jersey, to which we owe so much.

We thank our spectacular field staff who joined us from across the country.   We thank our executive committee, board, staff and donors who make Garden State Equality possible.  We thank the New Jersey Lesbian and Gay Coalition for its decades of groundwork.   We thank all the supportive staff in the legislature and executive branch.   We especially thank our thousands of volunteers – the stars of Garden State Equality – who rallied at the State House and worked in our offices and in the field throughout the year.  And if I may, I thank my partner Daniel and all the loved ones of our staff and volunteers who have supported us and sacrificed so much.

Most of all, we thank our colleagues at Lambda Legal, without whom our march toward equality would never have gotten this far.  We’re thrilled to reunite with our partner Lambda Legal in the next stage of the battle.  Please welcome Leslie Gabel-Brett, Lambda Legal’s director of education and public affairs.

From Lamda Legal:

Today Lambda Legal announced plans to go back to court to seek marriage equality after the New Jersey Senate failed to pass a marriage bill, effectively ending hope for passage this session.

“The requirement to ensure equality for same-sex couples, established by the New Jersey Supreme Court in its decision in our marriage lawsuit in 2006, has not been met,” said Kevin Cathcart, Executive Director at Lambda Legal. “There is enormous, heartbreaking evidence that civil unions are not equal to marriage, and we will be going back to the courts in New Jersey to fight for equality. Too many families are at risk. We cannot wait any longer.”

When the Lewis v. Harris case was decided in 2006 two other states, Connecticut and Vermont, had civil union laws. Since then both states have thrown over those laws as unequal – one by court action and one by legislative action – and same-sex couples now have the right to marry there. Same-sex couples can also marry in Massachusetts, Iowa, and New Hampshire. The City Council in the District of Columbia recently passed a marriage equality measure which was signed by the mayor and will likely go into effect in March.

“We applaud Garden State Equality and thousands of advocates for speaking up and working tirelessly for equality,” added Cathcart.

Lambda Legal filed Lewis v. Harris in June 2002 on behalf of seven same-sex couples seeking the right to marry. The New Jersey Supreme Court issued its ruling on October 25, 2006, unanimously agreeing that it is unconstitutional to give same-sex couples lesser rights than different-sex couples, but leaving the remedy up to the legislature. In December 2008 the Civil Union Review Commission, appointed by the legislature, issued its report documenting how civil unions fall short of the court-mandated equality for same-sex couples. Just since Thanksgiving, Garden State Equality reports that nearly 4,500 people have come to Trenton to lobby legislators to vote in favor of marriage for same-sex couples.

• Oklahoma State Legislator, Sally Kerns is now moving to limit who can get divorces.  The push would mean that married couples could not get a divorce on the basis of “incompatibility” if:
  • There are living minor children of the marriage
  • The parties have been married 10 years or longer
  • Either party files a written objection to the granting of a divorce

  Pam’s House Blend has a full recap.  At least her self-righteous belief that her religion should be imposed on others applies to both gay and straight people.  Maybe when people see what it’s like to have a politician interfering in their personal relationships, they’ll think again about marriage equality.

• The Rhode Island legislature overturned Governor Carcieri’s offensive veto of a bill earlier this year that would allow people to make funeral arrangements for their deceased partners.  AMERICAblog has more.
• The New Jersey State Senate will be voting on marriage equality Thursday.  The vote was previously scheduled and then postponed because it was expected to pass.  Whether the votes have been secured or supporters simply want to force the debate is yet to be seen.
• The beat of social conservatives using any unraveled gay relationship as proof of the instability of all gay relationships goes on.  Meanwhile, Karl Rove’s divorce indicates nothing about all straight couples (or Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, John Ensign or Mark Sanford).

And I’ll leave you with this LOVELY rendition of Poker Face.  I think it’s the Christian thing to do to replace the lyrics “Poker Face” to “Whore-ish Face.”  Courtesy of the wack-jobs at Westboro Baptist Church (after the jump if you’re viewing in reader).

I haven’t gotten a chance to read a lot from the hearings in New Jersey, but I wanted to share one thing right off the bat.  The speech of 13 year-old Jessie Petrow-Cohen though, has risen to the top.  Like Philip Spooner before her, she has risen above the chorus of voices and is spreading quickly around the internet.  If video becomes available, I’ll post it.

The only thing that’s different about my family and every one of yours is that we have to stand here and ask you if we can legally be a family, when you can be one without asking anyone. I think that us having to do something like that may just make our love stronger, but it’s gotten to the point where it just isn’t fair.

The full testimony is below the jump.

My name is Jessie Petrow-Cohen and I live with my moms, my sister, my three dogs, our gecko, our hermit crabs, our guinea pigs and our snails in Maplewood, NJ. To me a family is a group of people who love each other and are willing to do anything for one another.

Let me tell you a little bit about my family. Like most families mornings are crazy and one of us will usually leave home without something pretty important. Between walking the dogs and making lunches everyone’s just running around trying to get out the door.

Wednesdays are insane. There’s gymnastics, Hebrew school, usually someone who needs to go to a friend’s house to pick up homework or something like that. And of course we have to get home to watch “Glee.”

We have holidays together with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, go on vacations together, and my parents are at every sports competition or game my sister and I have ever had. I tell them everything about school and friends.

I feel that my family is no different. Except for just one thing, in New Jersey where we live together, we are a family, but legally we are not.

When anyone is curious about my family I am glad to tell them. When I told my friends I would be coming here today, they went home and begged their parents if they could come to support me, in fact one of my closest friends, Glynnis Olin, is here with us today.

The only thing that’s different about my family and every one of yours is that we have to stand here and ask you if we can legally be a family, when you can be one without asking anyone. I think that us having to do something like that may just make our love stronger, but it’s gotten to the point where it just isn’t fair.

When I fill out forms in the beginning of the year it says mother emergency number and father emergency number. In fourth grade we were making fathers day cards and even though I don’t have a father the teacher made me write one to an imaginary father, it was crazy.

On back to school night my sister had to write a letter to our parents and was required to follow the format on the board that included “Dear Mom and Dad.” It’s these little things over and over again that set my family apart from being totally normal, because other than the fact that some people don’t want to give my parents the right to get married, we are.

While some of these situations are unfair our friends and neighbors are very supportive and helpful. Last December my house had a very serious fire and the whole community of Maplewood was amazing. People we barely knew offered us a place to stay in their home. For two months after the fire the doorbell rang at 6:00 and delicious home made dinners were brought to us.

People took down our clothing sizes and went out and bought totally new wardrobes. If you’re worried that the people of New Jersey are not ready to accept us I’m here to tell you that they have been for a while.

So please, I would really like to be able to dance at my parents’ wedding. Thank you for inviting me here today.

IF YOU’RE COMING TO THE NEW JERSEY SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE HEARING MONDAY, PLEASE WEAR YOUR EQUALITY T-SHIRTS IF YOU HAVE THEM FROM OUR LOBBY DAYS.  IF YOU DON’T HAVE ONE, WE’LL GIVE YOU ONE FREE ON MONDAY.

This Monday, when the New Jersey Senate Judiciary Committee holds its hearing and votes on the marriage equality bill, please everything possible to join Garden State Equality at 9:00 am at the Trenton Marriott, 1 West Lafayette Street in Trenton.  You can park at the Trenton Marriott.

Several reasons why you should come as extremely early as you can on Monday – joining us at 9:00 am at the Trenton Marriott – rather than wait until the hearing starts at the State House at 1:00 pm.

1.   The entire world will be there to see this piece of history on Monday – you simply have to arrive very early, as if you this were the event of a lifetime for which you’re willing to camp out.

2.   We’ll feed you free breakfast Monday morning at the Marriott.

3.   We’ll brief you Monday morning at the Marriott – that’s key.

4.   If you’re might want to testify on Monday, we’ll have a special briefing – that’s really key.

5.   Be with your extended LGBT and progressive allies family.  We’re all in this together.

6.   We’ll walk from the Marriott to the State House together to show our presence to the press.

Please forward this email right now to every one of your friends, family, work colleagues, organizational members, congregational members and list serv members.   We need the biggest turnout of our lives on Monday.

Any questions?  Call Steven Goldstein, Garden State Equality chair, (917) 449-8918.  Thank you so much – we love you all for helping to bring us this far.  Happy holidays.

New Jersey jokes aside, there is a bit of a crunch going on in the Garden State.  Polling has gone both ways on the public’s sentiments on marriage equality and Democrats had previously stated that it would not be put to a vote unless they had the votes for it to pass.  Governor Corzine (on his way out) has said he’ll sign the law and incoming Governor Christie has said he would veto it.

Well, now reports are indicating that it will be voted on by the Senate Judiciary Commitee on Monday with a likely floor vote on Thursday.  Garden State Equality is believes that the votes aren’t there for this to pass, as they would need all but two Democrats to vote for equality.  One democrat, Judiciary Committee Chairman Paul Sarlo, has already vowed to vote against it.  In the House it would need 41 votes, so the Democrats, who hold 48 seats, have to lose no more than 7 votes, or secure some Republican support.  Hopefully this won’t fall directly on party lines anyway.  It didn’t in Maine and did in New York.  I’m guessing that New Jersey politics are more like New York, but it’s tough telling.

*Updated.

• The District of Columbia passed the first of two votes on marriage equality, as expected.
• Polls in New Jersey aren’t looking so good.
• New York State debated marriage equality and it sadly lost.  Towleroad has a comprehensive recap of the reactions.  Of note, here are a few responses:
  • State Senator Tom Duane,
    

    “Unfortunately, I think there was a contagious lack of backbone that occurred here today. And I’m angry about that and sad about that, but it was contagious. Similarly, the opposite would have meant far more votes than anyone had expected but unfortunately that wasn’t the way it went today.

  • Governor Paterson
    

    “I understand the anger; I understand the frustration; I understand the feeling of betrayal; and I understand the profound disappointment of those who came to Albany today thinking they could get married tomorrow. But I am also here to tell you that we are not back to square one.

    Governors don’t come to the Senate floor after losing a vote. This one does, because this is a fight that is bigger than one legislative vote. This is a civil rights issue. Marriage equality is as important as the emancipation of any group from oppression and the granting of equal rights to any community.”

  • Empire State Pride,
    

    It is a step forward for our democratic process in New York that a debate and vote have now occurred. Now we know where we stand, and where we need to concentrate our efforts in the future.

  • And most shockingly, the Log Cabin Republicans who had nothing but blame to share.
    

    “Today we share in the frustration and disappointment that the Senate did not pass the marriage equality bill. We are deeply saddened that the Democratic Conference failed to secure the votes they promised, undermining the possibility of a credible bipartisan vote of conscience on the merits of marriage equality. Winning marriage equality in New York requires the Democrats to keep their promises, and Log Cabin will continue to work to ensure that Republicans vote their conscience when that finally happens.”

• And frankly, I don’t remotely care about State Dinner crashers or Tiger Woods.